Disturbed: The Jagermeister Tour

Headed out Saturday night for the Jagermeister Music Tour at Sunset Station, featuring Bloodsimple and Disturbed. We were aiming to get there by 8:30 at the latest, but of course circumstances didn’t comply. We didn’t manage to leave the house until 8:15 and with all the other things going on downtown, traffic and parking situations conspired against us. So we came in on the end of Bloodsimple.

Now, I am familiar with the name Bloodsimple, and I have heard them, but I’m not real familiar with their music. I really enjoyed it. Usually I’m not crazy about bands whose singers just bark, yell or scream. Tim Williams of Bloodsimple does mostly yell and scream, but somehow his yelling and screaming has a melody to it, a very aggressive melody, but a melody nonetheless. I was way into their pounding rhythms; they sort of take over your body and you have to pound along with them. And it was lots of fun watching that Rob Zombie-looking mofo of a guitarist just beating the crap out of his guitar! Punching and slapping the shit out of it and it sounded great!

Between bands, a hilarious green guy (I guess with Jagermeister) came out and entertained us for a bit. Told some fat chick jokes, which were probably not very nice, but were kinda funny, I have to admit (sorry!). Then, because they had been told they had to do some kind of safety announcement, he pulled out a condom. He didn’t really do a safety announcement with it, but he did stick it in his nose, pull the other end out of his mouth and floss with it, which was pretty gross. And stuck it in his mouth then blew it up and out with his nose. And stuck it on his head and blew it up till it burst. Condom tricks are always cool.

He then picked up a little Jagermeister shot-pouring machine (which looked pretty heavy) with cords attached to his ears and swung it around. Then this other guy came out and put hooks with cords attached into his eye sockets and picked up flasks with these and swung them around, which totally grossed me out, and I didn’t want to watch, but the green guy threatened that we had paid for a show and we’d better fucking watch...so I watched, but damn it hurt!

The green guy said he was supposed to tell us not to try this at home, but he wasn’t going to, because he didn’t really give a fuck. It was fine with him if we wanted to go home and stick hooks in our eyes. But, if we did and ended up in the hospital, not to mention his name because he couldn’t afford to be sued. Trust me, I didn’t go home and stick hooks into my eye sockets, so at least on my account, he’s safe!

Then it was time for Disturbed. I got a little bit of grief from security, in spite of my photo pass...they even rolled their eyes at my sad little digital camera (not to worry, tax return time is here, a new camera is first on my list!), but I did manage to get up there to get a few pics. Just to share the experience of being up there behind the barricade...walking past the speakers actually vibrates your whole body...kinda cool and sickening at the same time! First thing I saw was some poor little scrawny chick so smashed up against the barricade that she could barely breathe and security was trying to pry her up and out of there. Also, you really have to be vigilant when you’re up there, because that’s where the crowd-surfers end up, feet first usually, and if you’re not careful, you’re likely to catch a boot in the face!

Ok, back to the music. Naturally, Disturbed rocked our asses off. As long as they did “Stupify,” “Down with the Sickness” and “Voices,” I was happy, and they definitely delivered. A few times, David Draiman’s voice sounded a little hoarse, not bad, but like this tour might be straining him a little, but it was minor enough not to interfere with my pleasure in the music.



Actually, the most interesting parts of the show were the things David said between songs. He gave us some rules of combat: 1) If your brother or sister falls down in the pit, you PICK THEM UP! And 2) If a female has enough balls to get up there on top of the crowd, you don’t grab their tits or ass! As desperate as you might be, that is RAPE! I thought that was very cool of him.



He also got a bit political. While he’s all for love of our country and all that, he’s tired of seeing our people die fighting in a country that doesn’t even want us there. He thinks that now that we got them their democracy, we should let them run it and get the fuck out. Most of the crowd seemed to agree. Too bad Duh-bya wasn’t there.



He also went on for a bit about Disturbed’s various albums’ success, which at first I took as bragging, but then he made a point. That they’ve had all this success, and yet people are quick to say that Rock is Dead. And, in his opinion, what is killing rock is, not to name names, but any band whose name starts with “The.” Basically all these guys with the suits and the eyeliner are killing the spirit of rock. He had the whole crowd chanting, “Fuck that shit!”

(Note: I've decided to scrap the previous paragraph that was here about pop and rock, because I decided I didn't really mean it!)