FINALLY I finished my first CD review! I had originally planned to make the first one a double feature, as I thought that would be cool and I have two Skunkweed albums. However, since I was almost done with this review, then lost my hard drive, I have decided enough time has been wasted, so I’ll just review my favorite Skunkweed album: Chunky Butt Funky.
One of the reasons it took me so long to do this review is because I had to get my hands on the damn CD! I finally had to go swipe it out of my boyfriend’s truck and rip the songs onto my computer so I could listen to them all at my leisure, because he never takes it out of his CD player. This is what he and his work buddies listen to when they’re standing around drinking beer after work.
Another reason it took me awhile was that I’ve never done a CD review before. I read them all the time in the Rolling Stone and they have all these really articulate ways of describing music. “Effervescent arrangements over bumping beats,” “an almost guileless, unadulterated apeal,” “a basic palette of sweet soul loops, rudimentary scratches and glazed electronics,” blah, blah, blah. I didn’t know if I could write stuff like that and that’s what I thought a CD review should sound like. But then I decided Fuck It...I don’t talk like that. And that’s ok, because I’m not some high-paid music critic. I’m just a music lover listening to a CD. So, here goes:
First off, if you’re easily offended, this album is NOT for you!
Chunky Butt Funky is chock full of offensive language, sexual references, racial stereotypes, degradation of females, talk of drug use, you name it...everything that’s likely to offend. As you may guess, I love it! It’s fucking hilarious!
It also touches on damn near every musical genre, from the jazz rap of the first track, “Wham Bam It’s a Booty Jam” to the tear-in-my-beer country of “Drunk Again” to the ganja-loving reggae of “Rasta Man,” and his advice to “Let the skunkweed set you free.”
What makes Skunkweed’s music so accessible is that the songs are full of characters that are immediately recognizable. They’re people you can either relate to or laugh at, because either you know them or you ARE them. From “Aqua Velva Man,” the guy with a pelt on his chest who thinks he’s so suave, but he’s got it all wrong and you know he really lives at home with his momma and works at the grocery store, to the vato in “El Camino,” driving around with his fuzzy dice and his chain steering wheel and the Virgin Mary airbrushed on the hood of his car.
And we’ve all met (or been) the guy in “Wasted” (my favorite Skunkweed song): He’s the guy at the party that everyone tries to avoid because he is just so obnoxiously and pathetically trashed. He pukes on himself, wets his pants, hits unsuccessfully on all the women and can’t understand why no one wants to let him drive home (“I drive better this way!”), where he ultimately wraps his car around a tree.
Men, I’m sure, can relate to the guy in “Titty Bar,” who’s usually just a white trash loser, but down at the local titty bar, he’s a superstar. “A little money never went so far.” Or the poor soul in “Directions” who wishes women came with a manual and who accidentally washes his face with “fucking vagina rejuvenator.” Or the guy in “Lickety Tits” whose girlfriend surprises him by getting a boob job (“Oh shit, lickety split, baby’s got a brand new set of tits!”).
Other songs are just fun, and of course, funny. Like “Soccer Riot,” with its rousing chorus of “Oy oy oy! Just start a soccer riot. Oy oy oy! You bastards ought to try it.” Because everyone knows that soccer itself is kinda boring and most of the true excitement is in the stands. “Kneecaps will bend, kidneys will roll, we’ll riot and riot till someone yells ‘GOAL!!’“
Another fun one and my second favorite: “Fuck ‘Em.” This song involves the most totally tasteless toast I’ve ever heard. It’s great. I put it up on the jukebox so you can listen to it.
Of course, if you’re on dial-up and streaming mp3's are a problem for you, you’ll just have to buy Chunky Butt Funky to hear it! I highly recommend buying it anyway. I’m not saying every song is great and rip-roaringly funny. There are a few that don’t quite live up to my expectations of Skunkweed, but those expectations are high - I expect their songs to be piss-your-pants hilarious - and not every song can live up to them. But the ones that do make this album well worth owning. Plus, if you own it, you get to hear the short but funny bonus track!
You can listen to clips from Chunky Butt Funky and History of the Beer Bong (also contains some great songs) and purchase both CD’s at http://www.mytexasmusic.com/skunkweed/
You can also check out Skunkweed live this Friday, February 10th, at the Hooligan’s on I-35. Check Skunkweed’s website for future dates and further info.